There is something that has been weighing on my heart lately as I've listened to conversations about biblical marriage.
I've heard many husbands talk about becoming the spiritual leader of their home. I've listened to men encourage one another to love their wives the way Christ loves the Church. Those conversations have reminded me of something I carried in my own heart for many years.
As a wife, I never expected perfection.
I didn't expect endless money.
I didn't expect a perfect house.
I didn't expect someone who never made mistakes.
What I longed for was much simpler.
I wanted to be loved.
I wanted to be listened to.
I wanted my thoughts to matter.
I wanted us to communicate instead of drifting apart.
I wanted to know we were still fighting for each other instead of fighting against each other.
God created women with incredible hearts. While every woman is different, many wives naturally notice things their husbands don't. Sometimes we see strengths they can't yet see in themselves. We often recognize gifts, potential, and purpose long before those things become reality.
I remember looking at my husband and seeing far more than who he was in that moment.
I could see the man God created him to become.
I believed in him during seasons when he couldn't believe in himself. I prayed for him. I encouraged him. I celebrated every victory and hoped for every new beginning.
That wasn't because I was special.
It was because that's what love does.
Love looks beyond the present and hopes for what God can do in someone's life.
One of the greatest gifts a husband can give his wife is not expensive vacations or extravagant gifts.
It's making her feel safe enough to share her heart.
It's asking, "What are you thinking?"
It's slowing down long enough to truly hear her.
Sometimes the woman standing beside you sees danger before you do.
Sometimes she sees opportunities you have overlooked.
Sometimes she sees the gifts God has placed inside of you before you ever recognize them yourself.
That doesn't make her your leader.
It makes her your helper—exactly as God designed from the beginning.
The Bible says:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." — Ephesians 5:25
Christ's love wasn't distant.
It was intentional.
Sacrificial.
Patient.
Compassionate.
Protective.
A wife flourishes when she knows she is deeply loved.
Likewise, Scripture calls wives to respect, encourage, and support their husbands. God's design was never a competition over who has more value. It was always about becoming one flesh, each bringing unique strengths that glorify Him together.
Although my marriage ended, I don't regret loving deeply.
I don't regret believing in someone.
I don't regret praying.
I don't regret seeing the potential God had placed inside my husband.
Those things reflect Christ's heart, and I hope I never lose them.
Today, I don't pray for my marriage, Instead, I pray that I continue to grow into the person God desires me to be, a Christian Single Mom.
If you are still married, don't wait until your spouse feels invisible.
Listen.
Encourage.
Forgive.
Speak life into one another.
Choose one another again and again. Love is worth fighting for!
Marriage is built day by day through countless small moments of love, respect, grace, and faithfulness. Being in a relationship with each other, it always takes two people.
And if you're reading this as someone whose marriage has ended, know this:
Your ability to love deeply was never wasted.
God sees every prayer you prayed, every sacrifice you made, and every tear you cried.
People may dismiss your love.
God never does.
He is close to the brokenhearted, and He is still writing your story.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." — 1 Peter 4:8
-May you keep your vows and marriage covenant with God
Proverbs 3:3 Let love and faithfulness, never leave you, bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.